the loss of anyone in your life is hard to stomach but someone who shaped you into the woman you have become? now that is a challenge every daughter and granddaughter must face at some point, and we are never ready for it when it does happen.
a friend of mine lost her grandmother recently. stories of Loretta were always colorful, filled with character. she was a spitfire, and though I never had the chance to meet her personally, the little that I know, the impact she had on my friend's life, is enough to know she will be terribly missed.
peaceful journey Loretta, rest in peace.
9/30/08
9/29/08
listless thoughts
how will the denial of a bailout affect our livelihoods? what will make the powers that be sit up at attention and realize that things are running amok? who is in control? i thought this was a free nation but it feels as if the rug has been pulled out from beneath us.
my insides are blindly confused by the state of the world today.
my insides are blindly confused by the state of the world today.
9/28/08
sleep escape
Life is something you do when you can't get to sleep, that's how i feel right now. The quote is written on the spine of the most recent issue of Real Simple.
I can't sleep...am wide awake. Astounded really. I did sleep in on Saturday but had a fitful active evening starting at 4pm. Grocery shopping, prepping, cooking dinner for Emily & Kristin. I made a most ambitious meal: Tortellini w/Eggplant & Peppers; Chicken Cutlets w/Spinach and Pumpkin Bread. Everything was scrumptious, and most importantly we had time to catch up and shoot the s* in girl's night style.
Emily left around 11 for the drive back to Philly. Kristin and I watched marathon episodes of the second season of Charmed while playing a round of Scrabble.
Maybe that's why I can't sleep--all that conjuring still clear in my head. Maybe it's the White Vanilla Tea. Maybe it's something altogether different that I have no clue about. All I do know is that it's 5AM on Sunday and I'm not tired. :(
I can't sleep...am wide awake. Astounded really. I did sleep in on Saturday but had a fitful active evening starting at 4pm. Grocery shopping, prepping, cooking dinner for Emily & Kristin. I made a most ambitious meal: Tortellini w/Eggplant & Peppers; Chicken Cutlets w/Spinach and Pumpkin Bread. Everything was scrumptious, and most importantly we had time to catch up and shoot the s* in girl's night style.
Emily left around 11 for the drive back to Philly. Kristin and I watched marathon episodes of the second season of Charmed while playing a round of Scrabble.
Maybe that's why I can't sleep--all that conjuring still clear in my head. Maybe it's the White Vanilla Tea. Maybe it's something altogether different that I have no clue about. All I do know is that it's 5AM on Sunday and I'm not tired. :(
9/26/08
forgotten
The morning is gray. The sun hiding. The apartment is damp, the summer
over. The rain cries from the sky, nearby trees in hues of green shake.
The street is quiet. Save the ticking of the clock, and the rumbling of
my stomach it appears that I am alone. Friday the last one in September.
My thoughts are wishy washy. Unclear. Stilted. I am a figurine in a
snow globe encased in its cardboard packaging, a Christmas gift
unwrapped admired for a moment and then stowed away in the attic.
decisions
I've decided that i have failed this blog by not committing myself to at least one post a day. There are no rules, the words need not be the beginning of a novel, a letter to myself but they should be, they should breathe. I hereby test myself to remember to write when I find myself online. Let us see if I can live up to the promises I make to myself as equally as I do for others.
wise words to reflect on
Wise words from Paulo Coelho's Warrior of Light newsletter:
Why go on fighting
Reader Gerson Luiz tells the story of a rose that longed for the company of the bees, but none would come to her.
Even so, the flower was still capable of dreaming. When she felt all alone, she would imagine a garden filled with bees that came to kiss her. And so she managed to resist until the next day, when she opened her petals again.
“Aren’t you tired?” someone must have asked her.
“No. I have to go on fighting,” answered the flower.
“Why?”
“Because if I don’t open up, I wither.”
Learning to see
Buddha gathered his disciples and showed them a lotus flower.
“I want you to tell me something about what I hold in my hand.”
The first gave a whole treaty on the importance of flowers. The second composed a lovely poem about its petals. The third invented a parable using the flower as an example.
Now it was Mahakashyap’s turn. He came up to Buddha, smelt the flower, and caressed his face with one of the petals.
“This is a lotus flower,” said Mahakashyap. “Simple, like everything that comes from God. And beautiful, like everything that comes from God.”
“You were the only one who saw what I hold in my hand,” was Buddha’s comment.
In search of a wise man
For days the couple traveled almost without speaking. Finally they arrived in the middle of the forest, and found the wise man.
“My companion said almost nothing to me during the whole journey,” said the young man.
“A love without silence is a love without depth,” answered the wise man.
“But she didn’t even say that she loved me!”
“Some people always claim that. And we end up wondering if their words are true.”
The three of them sat down on a rock. The wise man pointed to the field of flowers all around them.
“Nature isn’t always repeating that God loves us. But we realize that through His flowers.”
In the flower shop
The woman was strolling through a shopping mall when she noticed a poster announcing a new flower shop. When she went in, she got a shock; she saw no vases, no arrangements, and it was God in person who stood behind the counter.
“You can ask for whatever you want,” said God.
“I want to be happy. I want peace, money, the capacity to be understood. I want to go to heaven when I die. And I want all this to be granted to my friends too.”
God opened a few pots that were on the shelf behind him, removed some grains from inside, and handed them to the woman.
“Here you have the seeds,” He said. “Begin to plant them, because here we don’t sell the fruits.”
Why go on fighting
Reader Gerson Luiz tells the story of a rose that longed for the company of the bees, but none would come to her.
Even so, the flower was still capable of dreaming. When she felt all alone, she would imagine a garden filled with bees that came to kiss her. And so she managed to resist until the next day, when she opened her petals again.
“Aren’t you tired?” someone must have asked her.
“No. I have to go on fighting,” answered the flower.
“Why?”
“Because if I don’t open up, I wither.”
Learning to see
Buddha gathered his disciples and showed them a lotus flower.
“I want you to tell me something about what I hold in my hand.”
The first gave a whole treaty on the importance of flowers. The second composed a lovely poem about its petals. The third invented a parable using the flower as an example.
Now it was Mahakashyap’s turn. He came up to Buddha, smelt the flower, and caressed his face with one of the petals.
“This is a lotus flower,” said Mahakashyap. “Simple, like everything that comes from God. And beautiful, like everything that comes from God.”
“You were the only one who saw what I hold in my hand,” was Buddha’s comment.
In search of a wise man
For days the couple traveled almost without speaking. Finally they arrived in the middle of the forest, and found the wise man.
“My companion said almost nothing to me during the whole journey,” said the young man.
“A love without silence is a love without depth,” answered the wise man.
“But she didn’t even say that she loved me!”
“Some people always claim that. And we end up wondering if their words are true.”
The three of them sat down on a rock. The wise man pointed to the field of flowers all around them.
“Nature isn’t always repeating that God loves us. But we realize that through His flowers.”
In the flower shop
The woman was strolling through a shopping mall when she noticed a poster announcing a new flower shop. When she went in, she got a shock; she saw no vases, no arrangements, and it was God in person who stood behind the counter.
“You can ask for whatever you want,” said God.
“I want to be happy. I want peace, money, the capacity to be understood. I want to go to heaven when I die. And I want all this to be granted to my friends too.”
God opened a few pots that were on the shelf behind him, removed some grains from inside, and handed them to the woman.
“Here you have the seeds,” He said. “Begin to plant them, because here we don’t sell the fruits.”
What is Real?
"What is real?" asked the Velveteen Rabbit one day.
"Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"
"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you- it doesn't happen all at once. You become. It takes a long time. Generally, by the time you become real most of your hair has been loved off and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand".
- by Margery Williams
"Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"
"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you- it doesn't happen all at once. You become. It takes a long time. Generally, by the time you become real most of your hair has been loved off and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand".
- by Margery Williams
loquacious
there is a bird chirping outside my bedroom window. the most talkative bird I've ever heard
6/23/08
The Friend We Want To Be
Even without the afterglow of a relaxing vacation, a baby or anything and everything else that brings you peace and tranquility I think we can all agree that it is a challenge to consciously carve out time for ourselves; time that allows for free thought, reflection, normal breathing and remembering why we are all here (and for the record it’s not about work, dusting, computing or anything else that takes up way too much of our time).
I've recently returned to yoga, I’m committing myself to 1x week. I’ve been reading the Daily Om, an insightful daily reminder about how to live your life. I’ve also enrolled in an Italian class because there’s no reason not to. What are you doing? Feel free to answer, you might inspire someone.
excerpt from The DailyOm:
The Friend We Want To Be
Evaluating Our Relationships
There comes a time in all our lives when we may need to evaluate our relationships, making sure that they are having a positive effect on us, rather than dragging us down. Without realizing it, we may be spending precious time and energy engaging in friendships that let us down, rather than cultivating ones that support and nourish us along our path. Life, with its many twists, turns, and challenges, is difficult enough without us entertaining people in our inner circle who drain our energy. We can do so much more in this world when we are surrounded by people who understand what we're trying to do and who positively support our efforts to walk our path.
We can begin this evaluation process by simply noticing how we feel in the context of each one of our close relationships. We may begin to see that an old friend is still carrying negative attitudes or ideas that we ourselves need to let go of in order to move forward. Or we may find that we have a long-term relationship with someone who has a habit of letting us down, or not showing up for us when we need support. There are many ways to go about changing the status quo in situations like this, having a heart to heart with our friend showing through example. This process isn't so much about abandoning old friends as it is about shifting our relationships so that they support us on our journey rather than holding us back.
An important part of this process is looking at ourselves and noticing what kind of friend we are to the people in our lives. We might find that as we adjust our own approach to a relationship, challenging ourselves to be more supportive and positive, our friends make adjustments as well and the whole world benefits.
I've recently returned to yoga, I’m committing myself to 1x week. I’ve been reading the Daily Om, an insightful daily reminder about how to live your life. I’ve also enrolled in an Italian class because there’s no reason not to. What are you doing? Feel free to answer, you might inspire someone.
excerpt from The DailyOm:
The Friend We Want To Be
Evaluating Our Relationships
There comes a time in all our lives when we may need to evaluate our relationships, making sure that they are having a positive effect on us, rather than dragging us down. Without realizing it, we may be spending precious time and energy engaging in friendships that let us down, rather than cultivating ones that support and nourish us along our path. Life, with its many twists, turns, and challenges, is difficult enough without us entertaining people in our inner circle who drain our energy. We can do so much more in this world when we are surrounded by people who understand what we're trying to do and who positively support our efforts to walk our path.
We can begin this evaluation process by simply noticing how we feel in the context of each one of our close relationships. We may begin to see that an old friend is still carrying negative attitudes or ideas that we ourselves need to let go of in order to move forward. Or we may find that we have a long-term relationship with someone who has a habit of letting us down, or not showing up for us when we need support. There are many ways to go about changing the status quo in situations like this, having a heart to heart with our friend showing through example. This process isn't so much about abandoning old friends as it is about shifting our relationships so that they support us on our journey rather than holding us back.
An important part of this process is looking at ourselves and noticing what kind of friend we are to the people in our lives. We might find that as we adjust our own approach to a relationship, challenging ourselves to be more supportive and positive, our friends make adjustments as well and the whole world benefits.
06.16.08 ... a melancholic monday
Self-preservation requires one preserve, protect and survive with self, intact. An entrepreneur’s guide to life applied to corporate America. That would make a great title if only there was energy to write the words. It’s a challenge to live them, a frustrating one at that.
When we were in Greece it was easy allow the world that we know (and once loved unconditionally) live in the very distant reality, white noise to our background music. Back in the trebles of the city letting go is much more difficult…the vision, the sight while at times sharper/keener objects once closer are now fuzzy, the others slightly less so, more crisp, still foreign.
Melancholy Monday…is it a Monday in general or this Monday in particular. Is it the sudden change in weather or something less specific that has me spinning towards a less than happy mood, perhaps a good comedy will laugh those tears away.
When we were in Greece it was easy allow the world that we know (and once loved unconditionally) live in the very distant reality, white noise to our background music. Back in the trebles of the city letting go is much more difficult…the vision, the sight while at times sharper/keener objects once closer are now fuzzy, the others slightly less so, more crisp, still foreign.
Melancholy Monday…is it a Monday in general or this Monday in particular. Is it the sudden change in weather or something less specific that has me spinning towards a less than happy mood, perhaps a good comedy will laugh those tears away.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)