numb

I don't know when it first occurred;
I only first noticed this weekend,
recognizing it as part of myself.

Desensitized, 

detached, 

emotionally inert

to news of sickness, 

of dying, of death. 

A loved one, a relative
the downward spiral
of illness.
At once, someone is breathing,
someone is living,
someone is dying.

They are a part of my circle.
A heart grieving,
a heart in pain.

Then it became real. 
With news shared it took no time at all:
a cascade of messaging--
post, text, call,
hope distinguished just like that.

The emotion is raw,
the tears are real.
in that moment in time, 
distance evaporates. 

but it stops before they can feel