Last night Paula, Nikki and I attended a women's seminar entitled Men & Magnetism. Not knowing what to expect we went in with open minds and walked out with yet another funny story to tell at a party.
La Vida Femme was so similar to an event I attended with Kristin, Lisa Robyn (author of The Corporate Dominatrix, a great read for all you ladies out there in corporate America) and Emily earlier this year that I had to laugh. I wonder if I should tip off Mama Gena about her copycat, I wouldn't be surprised if the Barbie doll facilitator was a former disciple.
Within minutes of arriving, we were directed to the yoga studio at the Soho Equinox where a selection of Sex in the City inspired women populated the room. Decked out in summer sheaths and Diane von Furstenberg wrap dresses, stilettos from the likes of Christian Louboutin, sequin-bespeckled wedge thongs and Tory Burch flats, the crowd was full of smiles and seemingly extroverted women.
Elvira, the testimonial devotee, hushed the crowd and cooed about how we all looked like a luscious summer garden. I nearly choked on my blondie as Paula snickered and Nikki chuckled nearby. Elvira proceeded to tell us how she had met the mastermind behind LVF at a workshop, and was inspired to sign herself up for coaching. The 58-year old blond told of a former life that included a heavier self, in huge debt and freshly scarred from a bad break up and how within a "9-month gestation period with LVF" (her words not mine) she found herself with a 6-figure job, close to being debt-free, 50 lbs lighter and dating a fantastic younger man. All thanks to Ms. La Vida Femme. Sounds too good to be true doesn't it? It's amazing how all these self-help workshops pile it on so thick...and even more amazing that these seemingly well-groomed, levelheaded, outgoing women were buying into it!
The mini workshop lasted about an hour and Ms. Barbie and her cohort, a mature Jessica Simpson lookalike led us through mini exercises:
- the free-dance (Mama Gena did that one too)
- the "feel good smile" meditation
- lessons on how to channel your inner "supermodel/superhero/secret celebrity"
- the surefire visualization techniques to answering the "what do I/why do I want" question
- and the affirmation what I want in a "GingerbreadStud" man
They encouraged us to find our light and flow, that we have the choice of choosing our attitude (and yes they referred to The Secret), how our state of being is imperative to the laws of attraction. Nothing we haven't heard or read before right? Before the closing remarks we were instructed to kiss our paper GingerbreadStud, for some reason I kissed mine on the forehead which elicited a chuckle from the girls...It could have been that the sketch reminded me of a child but I thought I read some place that the forehead is an erogenous zone. [I checked that out once I got home, and while that's true, it's more a tip for men about women--"Don’t just kiss on the lips though try the cheeks, eyelids, forehead, nose, neck, or earlobes and do it with passion and variety." Source: http://ezinearticles.com/?Female-Erogenous-Zones.]
After our little make-out session the ladies of La Vida Femme applauded our intiative and invited us to attend the continuation of the Feminine Magnetism seminar at a discounted price, half-off the full cost for the one-time only (2) hour group workshop.
We thought not and made a silent retreat to Puck Fair to celebrate our inner selves for having a sense of humor about the evening's turn of events.