out of sight, out of mind

Better late than never is what the old cliche says. Less regret if you do, less pain when the memories come back around. And when you do, when you make it happen, when you take action,  standing in that space, looking at that person (place, thing) thinking damn I should have came earlier. I should have forced myself to come sooner. Don't be too hard on yourself.

I know you can't help but be hard on yourself when a loved one is in a hospital, a nursing home, a rehab center and you visit them and they are a shell of who you knew. You can't help but think had I only come earlier maybe they would not be so sad, so forlorn, so lost. Slow down, let go, vanquish those thoughts, they are beyond your control. It's best to not think about the what if, and concentrate on the what is.

The only thing you can do when someone's body is deteriorating, leaving behind a mind still sharp is be there. As often as you can, as often as time and responsibilities will allow, just be there. Be there to encourage a recovery that may or may not come. Be there to offer hope and understanding even if the means of communication are not what they once were. Be kind and mindful of the things you share in words and body language. Be present in that moment as you share yourself with them through your eyes. Be their everything in that moment. Just be there.