catalyst

I crashed on Friday night, and slept through most of Saturday, still recovering from my bout with the upper ninth contagion. Saturday, cup of coffee in hand, I barely left the couch save the time it took to accept my first (and 20-minute early) order from Fresh Direct. The next 12 hours were spent cleaning out and condensing email accounts, stripping the Internet of excess personal information. It's no easy task, sifting through years worth of intentional and sometimes randomly created online accounts, though its definitely worth the effort. You should try it yourself and see.

Asleep by 3, up by 10, I was on the fast track to being on time when I made the mistake of checking my Blackberry. The weekend tends to last a bit longer if I refrain from checking my work email until later in the day; sometimes I'm not always successful. 90 minutes later, a quart of Honey Vanilla Chamomile ice cream (I'll post my recipe later but here's one to whet the appetite) in a thermal carry bag and I'm on my way.

It's a two fare zone to Carroll Gardens, and it's been awhile since I've taken the bus to the train to get there. It used to be part of my morning commute when I worked for a start-up back in the late 90s. Back then I managed marketing and events for an online production company. I would travel the F train above ground, below ground, across train bridges, the city's skyline just within view, all the way to Carroll Street, the Smith-9th Street station deemed unsafe for a woman walking alone. It used to be anyway. Back then I knew the F train route pretty well, I would leave my station on Court and 4th and head downtown into DUMBO to train with my boxing instructor Bobby Beckles. That was before JLO and Gold Street were prime real estate, before they were pipe dreams.

I find myself using a lot of words that conjure the past: back then, before, used to -- not sure why these phrases keep popping up in my conversations, it's a bit startling and has forced a pause for reflection. At the end of last year I realized that my work had taken over my life, and I sort of had an identity crisis. There are so many things I used to do, out of curiosity or just for the sheer joy of trying something new, and I've definitely been lackadaisical in partaking. But I've decided to change it up, this year comes with a new attitude and a fresh perspective. My challenge for 2011 is to get back in touch with who I am, rediscovering me.

Starting right now.