|This image comes close but the sky I see is far more foreboding.|
I look outside my window and all I can see is darkness. No external light is visible from where I sit. I stand up to move closer to the window, the sky is gray, storm gray I suppose.
The rain starts, then stops. I feel tired but I haven't done a thing today. The weather makes me lethargic, sleepy, wistful. Tigger nearby curled on his bamboo settee. Chimes twinkle just outside my door. I feel vulnerable, to the elements, to myself. Loneliness is an uncomfortable feeling, and a part of me longs for the comfort of another person, which feels exponentially real just now.
There's something to be said for happiness. Stability at work, comfortable with yourself, at peace. Once your life settles into that kind of mindspeak, it opens the doors to other possibilities, to meeting people, to love. I've been so wrapped up in my work lately that I'd forgotten that I held the power to open those doors.
I had a date this week, which was actually a lot of fun. I found that despite our chance meeting, we had a lot in common: photography, music, writing. It seemed to go well: dinner, followed by drinks and a nightcap. We shall see how it unfolds, the who calls who adding texts into the mix and the prospect of when shall we meet again--too often silence and disappointment follow, I will hope this time will be different.
Facebook is buzzing, and an alert from a college friend from Suffolk, VA has posted:
The rain starts again, this time harder than before, other than that the night is quiet, only it feels later than it actually is. I'm preparing a late-night dinner: grilled steak with zucchini and peas. Eating dessert first: Haagen-Daas coffee with Nutella swirled atop. Waiting for the zucchini bread to finish its time in the oven. It's one of my favorite recipes from Mom. The other is for rich moist brownies, the ingredients for which are on the counter and at this point, well beyond room temperature.
Mom's Zucchini Bread
3 c. zucchini, very thinly sliced
1 c. Bisquick
1/2 c. chopped onion
1/2 c. Parmesan cheese
2 tbsp. parsley
1/2 tbsp. marjoram
1/4 tsp. dry mustard
1 clove garlic
1/2 c. vegetable oil
4 eggs, beaten
Mix all ingredients together and put into a greased 13"x9"x2" pan. Bake approximately 30 minutes at 350 degrees. This recipe can be doubled or tripled and part of your bread can be frozen.