(draft, tigger thoughts)

I have to be realistic about his condition. He's had a good life, a long life for one with nine lives. A full life with the most cherished love and care.

When he leaves this earth I want it to be from a place of comfort not pain. Always for him, partially for me.

Watching a human waste away to nothingness without a choice for reprieve was enough, for my mini monster, I have a choice. I question whether I will have a chance to make it when the time comes.

In his last appointment with the vet -- he weighed in at a loss of 8 kilos. The doctor diagnosed him with a host of possible issues most of which would require invasive surgery and anesthesia.

We put him on meds instead, steroids to ease the pain and whet his appetite. A 2-week treatment, nearly 8 weeks ago. He has moments when he pukes and poops, and they far outweigh the days of normal eating and consumption.

And I asked the hard questions, about euthanasia and what it involves (a catheter to administer fluid).

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